Playing Through Recovery – The Power of Reconstructing Cloud’s Memories

March 16, 2020

The opening moments of Final Fantasy VII sees the player controlling a blond, spiky haired guy in blue as he jumps off the roof of a train and battles two guards. The first thing we know this man as is simply listed as EX-SOLDIER. Until his name is revealed, the first thing we know about Cloud Strife is that he is an ex-soldier. It’s a tag we assign to him from the first moment of the game. Through out the story, we do learn more about what Soldier is, and that it’s a large part of Cloud’s identity. A fair few hours into the game, Cloud imparts a story to the party about the ‘Neibleheim incident’. How, as a member of soldier, he returned to his hometown along with his childhood hero, the Soldier hero Sephiroth. How they were there to check on a reactor, but while investigating Sephiroth locked himself into the mansion when he found research notes and experiment documents relating to him. Cloud tells the party about the mutations they found at the reactor, how Sephiroth went insane and burnt the town to the ground.

This story of the destruction of Neibleheim becomes very central to the story going forward. It’s an incident that is mentioned by several characters and ends up being a turning point in understanding the truth behind everything. Cloud sticks to this story as absolute truth, it’s his truth, something he lived through. However, one person he tells this story to knows that what he’s saying is wrong. Among the party is his childhood friend, Tifa. Despite knowing that something is wrong, she doesn’t mention it. Although crucially, while in Cosmo Canyon, Tifa asks if Cloud truly is him.

The party does eventually make it to Neibleheim, only to find the town has no damage to it. Everything is as it was, with the exception of no one knowing who Cloud is. Further on in their journey, Cloud and his friends are confronted by the spirit of Sephiroth. One who teases Cloud by calling him a puppet, and knowing the truth. For the second time in the game, we see part of the Neibleheim Incident, only this time Cloud isn’t there. Instead we see a man in the same uniform but with slicked black hair, a man we later know as Zack Fair. The spirit of Sephiroth keeps tempting Tifa to tell Cloud the truth. That she was the tour guide to that group of Soldiers, and that Cloud was not among them.

In his self-doubting and staggered state, Cloud ends up giving into the villains, giving them something they need and essentially awakening Sephiroth properly. He finds himself swallowed up by the energy and washes ashore the small town of Mideel. When the party finds him, he is wheelchair bound. A blank expression of the man we have seen so far. Tifa decides to stay by his side while the rest of the party carries on in their attempt to save the world. When the world starts to break apart, Tifa and Cloud fall into the lifestream, an ocean of energy that engulfs the planet, and where all energy comes from. What takes place here is perhaps one of the most touching examples of playing through recovery.

The pair find themselves in a sort of astral projection of fragmented environments with shadowy, broken versions of Cloud in each section. The player takes control of Tifa, and how the section plays out involves Tifa having to go to each section, talking to Cloud and trying to piece together his shattered memories. The faded appearance of Cloud perfectly sums up how Cloud feels and also what we actually know about the guy. He finds it incredibly difficult to move himself, but it’s by reaching out to Tifa, the can begin to piece his life together. Piece together the true Cloud Strife, rather than the facade we’ve been playing as the entire time.

Through their shared memories, we do learn more about their history together. How they weren’t actually that close as children, but Cloud was the only one to follow Tifa all the way up the mountain after the death of her mother, simply because he wanted to make sure she was safe. Cloud is a caring guy. He does want to protect others, something that the version of him we have seen seems to try to cover up. Through these events we do get to the bottom of the Neibleheim incident. While there was a different Soldier there with Sephiroth, however Cloud was there as well. Going back to that first time we meet Cloud in the game. His first enemy is a pair of Shinra troupes that become a recurring enemy. At the time of the Neibleheim incident, Cloud was no different. He was scared to show his face in his hometown because he didn’t make Soldier. However, while Sephiroth goes on his rampage, we get to experience Cloud being the true hero we know he can be. He saves Tifa, though she doesn’t know it was him that did. When Zack is thrown aside, it’s Cloud that picks up the sword and goes after Sephiroth. We get to experience them both piecing together the true Cloud Strife by playing through it ourselves.

When Tifa and Cloud return to the party, we see a shift in Cloud. That cocky, brash Soldier we knew is still somewhat there. But the child we met in the mountains, and the young Shinra troupe from Neibleheim have found their way back to Cloud. There is a softness to him now. Something that can be seen in a small but tender moment with Yuffie when she comments about being air sick. He comforts her and says that it used to happen to him too.

The scene of Cloud and Tifa is strong in itself. But through the medium of video games, the scene plays out to maximum effect. We experience this moment alongside Cloud. As an observer, we see ourselves the way Tifa does. The true character coming to the surface. But as players embodying the avatar of Cloud Strife, it can feel cathartic. Knowing that it’s okay to take a step back and to rebuild ourselves. That it’s okay to be our true selves.